FREIGHTER TAILS: the Misadventuresof Mzzkiti
by Gibbs & Redfern
 
Technical Specifications:
Uni-Former Deluxe!
 
 
ITEM: Uni-Former Deluxe

SPF QUARTERMASTER PART #: XXL (50-52)--Inspected by #12

MANUFACTURER: LL BEM of Alpha Centauri (Subsequently bankrupt)

PURPOSE: In theory, to automatically create and fit clothing; not only regulation uniforms, but a variety of casual outfits as well, While-U-Wait, based on factors such as Species, Gender, Age, Height, Weight and Chosen Activity.

HISTORY: A classic example of an idea ahead of its time, the Uni-Former Deluxe was first introduced with great fanfare almost a century ago. No longer would Space Protectorate Force personnel need to waste time changing clothes, if called suddenly to participate in a landing party or a tennis game, or if their uniforms were ruined by a plasma leak or a spilled cup of coffee. Simply step into the Uni-Former, and presto! a fresh, clean, brand-new set of clothing would instantly be molded around you.

…As with many things, however, this proved too good to be true. Chronic problems with the Species, Height, Weight and (especially) Gender sensors caused numerous embarrassing faux pas. When Admiral Jack "Ripper" Rippeson stepped into a Uni-Former, in full view of his senior staff, and emerged wearing a Japanese schoolgirl's fuku (size 12), the project was abandoned. The remaining Uni-Former units were sold as surplus to amusement parks throughout the galaxy. Pharsicle possesses the last known working unit, salvaged from a load of scrap when the ship's more conventional auto-tailoring machinery failed.

 
 
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