by Gibbs & Redfern
Get yo' ass outa' here!
SEX: Only after a Viagra and Valium cocktail
AGE: Chronologically, 30 Terran years. Physically, closer to 70
SPECIES: Terran Human (Homo sapiens neurosis)
RANK: Lieutenant Commander
POSITION: Chief Engineer, SPF Cargo Vessel Pharsicle
PREVIOUS POSITION: Commander Strehstowt has had a somewhat checkered career, due in large part to his excessive jumpiness. Bounced from ship to ship, he has left a wide swath of accidental destruction behind him. Before his assignment to Pharsicle, he worked briefly on the SPF’s experimental Megabrute-class battleship. This assignment ended badly when Strehstowt caused a fusion-containment failure by spilling coffee into an open console. In the words of the SPF Admiralty: “If he blows up Pharsicle, who cares?”
PSYCHOLOGY: Theories abound as to the cause of Strehstowt’s extreme nervousness, ranging from overwork, to simple incompetence, to a chronic overdose of caffeine. The real explanation is classified Top-Secret. As a young engineer, Rather participated in the first tests of the experimental Trans-Dimensional Imploder. While exposed to the beam, he discovered to his horror that reality as we know it is nothing more than an entertainment staged for the amusement of shadowy, immobile, possibly godlike creatures. This shattering revelation left him constantly looking over his shoulder, certain he is being watched. Persons serving with Strehstowt are warned to be prepared for--and to ignore--his frequent cries of “AAIIEEE! WE’RE ALL GONNA DIE!!! No--wait--we’re not. Sorry.”
GOALS: To be stranded on a desert island with nothing more complex than string within a thousand parsecs.
|FREIGHTER TAILS and its associated characters and elements copyright © 2005 by Paul S. Gibbs and Bill Redfern. All rights reserved. The publication or reuse of any images or text from this site, without the express written permission of its creators, is strictly prohibited. Feel free to enjoy our site, link to it, and recommend it to friends, but please don't steal it. Thanks!|